Single on Purpose by John Kim

Introduction
Single on Purpose by John Kim is an empowering guide that challenges the societal narrative that being single is a temporary state to be "fixed" or avoided. Instead, Kim encourages readers to embrace their single status as a time of growth, self-discovery, and intentional living. Rather than focusing on finding a romantic partner, Kim’s book empowers individuals to focus on living their best lives, nurturing their self-worth, and achieving their goals independently.

1. Reframing the Single Experience

Kim begins by challenging the typical mindset around being single. Society often views single people as incomplete or lacking, but Kim flips this idea, emphasizing that being single is not a “problem” to solve, but an opportunity to fully engage with life. It is a time to understand yourself, pursue your passions, and live without the dependency of a partner.

Key Insights on Being Single:

• Single Is Not a Limbo: Kim stresses that being single doesn’t mean waiting around for the right person. It is a full, meaningful, and fulfilling phase of life.
• Focus on You: During this time, it's essential to turn inward and focus on what you need to be happy and fulfilled without seeking external validation.
• Self-Sufficiency: Being single allows for greater independence, self-sufficiency, and the ability to build a life that doesn’t revolve around someone else.

Pro Tip: Shift your mindset. Rather than seeing your single life as a void to be filled, see it as a time to develop your identity and pursue your goals.

2. Healing from Past Relationships

One of the key parts of Single on Purpose is the importance of healing from previous relationships. Kim discusses the emotional baggage and wounds that many carry into new relationships, and how essential it is to heal before entering another. He encourages self-reflection, self-compassion, and closure from past relationships to make room for growth.

Steps for Healing:

• Grieve and Let Go: It’s essential to give yourself time to heal and truly grieve any past relationships or emotional wounds before moving forward.
• Reflect and Learn: Kim encourages readers to look back on past relationships to gain insights into their own behavior, boundaries, and needs.
• Release the Past: Holding on to anger or resentment from the past prevents true healing. Letting go of negative emotions allows room for positive growth.

Pro Tip: Heal at your own pace. Don’t rush the process of moving on—take the time you need to ensure you’re ready for a healthy future.

3. Building a Strong Relationship with Yourself

Kim emphasizes that the key to happiness, whether single or in a relationship, is to build a strong and healthy relationship with yourself. He advocates for practices that foster self-love, self-awareness, and emotional health. According to Kim, only when you are content and fulfilled as an individual can you attract a healthy relationship.

Building Self-Relationship:

• Self-Discovery: Take time to explore who you really are—what you want, need, and value in life.
• Self-Care: Engage in activities that nurture your body, mind, and soul, whether it’s a hobby, physical exercise, or mindfulness practices.
• Set Boundaries: Know your limits and prioritize your well-being. Setting boundaries allows you to protect your emotional space and avoid unnecessary stress.

Pro Tip: Take yourself on dates, engage in activities you love, and treat yourself with kindness. The more you invest in yourself, the more you’ll enjoy your own company.

4. Living with Purpose While Single

In Single on Purpose, Kim stresses that being single is a prime opportunity to focus on personal growth, passions, and future goals. Rather than seeing it as a waiting period for a relationship, being single can be a time for self-improvement and achieving the things that matter to you. By living with intention, you can create a fulfilling and enriching life.

Living with Purpose:

• Set Goals: Use this time to focus on your personal and professional goals—whether it’s advancing your career, improving your health, or learning a new skill.
• Grow and Explore: Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Take up new hobbies or travel to places you’ve always wanted to explore.
• Be Proactive: Don’t wait for life to happen to you. Take control and design the life you want.

Pro Tip: Approach life with purpose. Create a vision for the future and take intentional steps every day to move closer to your goals.

5. Attracting Healthy Relationships

While Single on Purpose is primarily about thriving in your single life, Kim also offers advice on how to attract healthy and meaningful relationships when the time comes. He emphasizes that the foundation for a successful relationship lies in the relationship you have with yourself. By cultivating emotional health, self-awareness, and clear boundaries, you’re more likely to attract a partner who complements your values and goals.

Keys to Attracting Healthy Relationships:

• Self-Work: The more emotionally mature and self-aware you are, the better equipped you’ll be to enter a healthy relationship.
• Authenticity: Be your true self. Don’t try to mold yourself into someone else to attract a partner—true love comes from genuine connection.
• Patience: Building a strong relationship takes time. Don’t rush into a relationship for the sake of being in one.

Pro Tip: Focus on your own personal growth. When you are fully content on your own, you’ll attract a partner who aligns with your values and respects your boundaries.

Conclusion

Single on Purpose is a thought-provoking, empowering book that encourages readers to see their time as a single person not as a time of waiting, but as a phase of self-growth, intentional living, and fulfillment. By prioritizing self-love, healing from past relationships, and living with purpose, readers can make the most of their single years and become the best versions of themselves.

Are you ready to embrace your single life as a time to focus on your own growth and happiness? What steps will you take to live with intention and purpose during your time as a single person? Share your thoughts in the comments below.